1. Ask someone if they want a gift.
This sounds very unromantic, but frankly a lot of people I know would prefer their relatives and friends stop giving them gifts.
Those of us who have a healthy income can purchase what we need/want when we need/want it. Receiving a throw pillow shaped like an owl might be your idea of an excellent gift, but the person receiving might not actually want another pillow, or a pillow that doesn't fit with their style or colour scheme.
On the flip side, when you have a limited income gifts can be also be a burden. You likely are not able to afford to live in a large space to fill with stuff. My experience with uncertain employment involved me moving apartments every 6 months, extra stuff would have been no gift at all.
2. If the answer to number 1 is yes, ask what they would like.
Again, this eliminates the element of surprise, fine, but even as a kid going out to choose my own Christmas presents was hugely exciting. The anticipation of knowing added to the joy of unwrapping them several weeks later.
Think about it, when someone gives you a gift out of the blue there is stress involved in receiving it. When you open it, no matter what it is, you have to look delighted in order to make the giver feel appreciated. Opening a gift when you've told someone what you want is much easier. It's good to give people a few options so that they choose what is appropriate to their budget. Knowing what someone wants doesn't take away from your ability to be thoughtful. It's thoughtful to take the time to ask.
If you have children, this is also a good opportunity to introduce the idea that maybe if they have enough stuff that they would like an experience as a gift. Like a rock-climbing lesson, or taking their two best friends out to see a movie.
3. Whatever the person's answer to 1. or 2., respect it.
The expectation that someone needs to love a gift that you give them is unhealthy. If a man buys a woman a drink in a bar, does she owe it to him to thank him so much for his generosity? No. She doesn't even have to drink it. Why would you expect any different from your loved ones?
Consent is something we undermine constantly in our culture. If someone doesn't want a gift and you want to get them one anyway, at least give them an out. They don't want to hurt your feelings, but by virtue of ignoring their wishes, you are hurting theirs. At the very least mention "I really loved this, and I know you didn't want a gift so no pressure at all. If you don't like it, just give it to me and I will happily have this in my house." Certainly do not make them feel guilty 6 months from now when you don't see that sculpture of a dog sitting proudly in the middle of their living room.
4. Zero Waste gift ideas
A lot of items we buy as gifts come with a lot of packaging- I like to say 'no thank you' to having my food or soap wrapped in garbage! Here is my favourite stocking stuffer gift idea: jars of treats. Glass jars come in various sizes and can be taken to a bulk food store and filled with smarties, chocolates, dried mango slices, cranberries, gummi worms, nuts, whatever! My godmother last year gifted me two decorated mason jars with cake and brownie mixes inside!
Glass, metal, and paper/cardboard are very easy to recycle and compared to plastic much less wasteful and toxic to the environment. Gifts in these kinds of packages are preferable.
Glass bottles? Think wine, spirits, maple syrup, olive oil and balsamic vinegar.
Experiences of all shapes, sizes, and budgets are out there, be creative!
5. Wrapping Without Waste
My family has been re-using gift bags for so long, I don't remember ever buying a gift bag. If you haven't already got a collection of gift bags in your closet or holiday trunk, then I usually wrap a gift in cloth. If it is material that I particularly want back then I mention that to the recipient. Usually people offer it back anyway. Other alternatives exist, like using the pile-up of re-usable bags that you have as gift bags, but I leave that to your own creative minds.
6. Relax.
Enjoy the holiday with people who you love and stop making something that is about life, love, and family, into something about consumerism. Happiness comes from within.
E
